I am feeling very low at the moment, crushed, hurting, disappointed, frustrated, and even angry with myself and God (more about all of this over the next days/weeks). I know what I should be doing, but as the apostle Paul says - that which I want to do is not what I do but what I don't want to do, that is what I do!! Again and again I find this true of myself at the moment. I need to be diligent in reading my Bible and spending time in prayer, I need to submit my life to the Lord again, I need to rejoice in what is happening, I need to trust, I need to......do so many things!!! But it just isn't there for me right now. I need the grace of my Saviour but He feels so far away. I know it is I who have wandered far but how I long to be back in His arms, safe and secure, filled with joy and laughter.
So I must read my Bible each and every day and the Psalms is where I will begin.
Thursday 30 May 2013
Thursday 2 May 2013
Monday
Have you ever experienced that feeling of 'hitting the wall', of 'not knowing how you will carry on'?
Well, Monday was a day like that for me - how could I deal with what was before me? Was what I saw really happening? How could I be all that I wanted, and thought I should be, for those I love? How could I serve God with a feeling of utter nothing, of emptiness, of exhaustion? How could I be here, in this way of thinking, after all that the Lord has done in my life these past months? What a failure I am as a child of God!!! But am I?
But as is the Lord's way with all His children, He directed my car where it needed to go - not running, or at least driving away but to help that He had planned. I was done, I had nothing to offer, I couldn't even think what I should do next and the Lord knew all of that and more, He saw my heart......send the text, ask for help, I have opened an escape route for you, a way of blessing, trust ME!!!! And I obeyed, turned my car round and arrived at the destination the Lord had made available - my wonderful, godly, pastor - here I am again.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (I Peter 5: 6&7)
As I think back I know that obedience to the Lord, no matter how hard it is, brings blessing from Him. After all, He knows what is best, He knows everything about me and my situation, He knows what will happen next in my life, and above all He has the perfect plan for my soul - to refine it so that is will come forth as pure gold and bring it to eternal life with Him!!! I may think my way is better because that is what looks right to me at the time, I may be arrogant and prideful to think I know more than my Saviour!!! Oh foolish one, may this moment of my life be an encouragement and reminder in the future to willingly and humbly obey, following His leading and direction no matter what.
Am I a failure?? Certainly not!! Am I human and sinful? Definitely!! I will write more about this in my next posts.
Meantime here is a Scripture that I am memorising:
Jeremiah 33:2,3 This is what the Lord says, He who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is His name: Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Well, Monday was a day like that for me - how could I deal with what was before me? Was what I saw really happening? How could I be all that I wanted, and thought I should be, for those I love? How could I serve God with a feeling of utter nothing, of emptiness, of exhaustion? How could I be here, in this way of thinking, after all that the Lord has done in my life these past months? What a failure I am as a child of God!!! But am I?
But as is the Lord's way with all His children, He directed my car where it needed to go - not running, or at least driving away but to help that He had planned. I was done, I had nothing to offer, I couldn't even think what I should do next and the Lord knew all of that and more, He saw my heart......send the text, ask for help, I have opened an escape route for you, a way of blessing, trust ME!!!! And I obeyed, turned my car round and arrived at the destination the Lord had made available - my wonderful, godly, pastor - here I am again.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (I Peter 5: 6&7)
As I think back I know that obedience to the Lord, no matter how hard it is, brings blessing from Him. After all, He knows what is best, He knows everything about me and my situation, He knows what will happen next in my life, and above all He has the perfect plan for my soul - to refine it so that is will come forth as pure gold and bring it to eternal life with Him!!! I may think my way is better because that is what looks right to me at the time, I may be arrogant and prideful to think I know more than my Saviour!!! Oh foolish one, may this moment of my life be an encouragement and reminder in the future to willingly and humbly obey, following His leading and direction no matter what.
Am I a failure?? Certainly not!! Am I human and sinful? Definitely!! I will write more about this in my next posts.
Meantime here is a Scripture that I am memorising:
Jeremiah 33:2,3 This is what the Lord says, He who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is His name: Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Wednesday 1 May 2013
Why?
Somewhere to write my thoughts about daily life
To share my journey of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ - both blessings and trials.
To share encouragement with my readers
To be used by the Lord through what I write, if He wills that.
I love to write, mainly poetry, but I also love to write prayers, thoughts, and observations of my life.
So if you are following this blog welcome along. Please leave me comments and thoughts.
To share my journey of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ - both blessings and trials.
To share encouragement with my readers
To be used by the Lord through what I write, if He wills that.
I love to write, mainly poetry, but I also love to write prayers, thoughts, and observations of my life.
So if you are following this blog welcome along. Please leave me comments and thoughts.
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